If
by karibelle
Summary: What would have happened if the rooftop scene went vastly different Caution: Not for Noel fans. Consider this your warning. I don't want hate reviews.
1. Nightmare

"This can't be happening. No, this is a nightmare. I said no; I pushed. I must be having a nightmare because Noel would stop if I said stop. I'm asleep. That's it. Ouch, that doesn't feel like I'm sleeping." Felicity snapped out of her racing thoughts as she felt Noel press roughly against a place she had never intended nor wanted him to encounter on this night. "Noel, please stop. Seriously, I don't want this. Please, please get off of me," she said, getting more desperate with every please. Noel continued to physically push at her as if totally deaf to Felicity's desperate pleadings.  
  
This had all started innocently enough. After her fight with Ben and being rejected for the honors art program, Felicity had come to the roof, her and Noel's summer spot, figuring he might be there to lend a sympathetic ear like he had so many times in the past. At first, Noel was sympathetic, listening to her troubles with money since her father withdrew his financial support and about Ben being angry with her because she was late for work making him miss his first chemistry lecture. Somewhere in the middle of the pity party, however, Noel's sympathy transformed into lust and what Felicity had intended as a comforting "thank you for listening" kiss turned into a hungry, passionate kiss. Realizing what was about to happen, Felicity pulled away, but Noel grabbed at her, seemingly overcome with desire. Felicity pushed him to arms length seeing the lust in his eyes. "Noel, we can't do this. I have Ben and just because we had a fight doesn't mean I don't love him." Anger filled Noel at the mention of Ben's name. He wished he had never heard the name Ben Covington more than anything right now, but what Noel wanted more than that was to make Ben pay for all the pain he had cause Noel and Felicity. Paying no attention to the crying girl he was forcing to sleep with him against her will, telling himself she'd see things his way once all was said and done, Noel forcibly pushed Felicity onto her back, pinning her arms in the process, and bent down to suck on her neck.  
  
"Oh god, please, please stop Noel. It doesn't have to be like this. I promise, I won't say anything to anyone if you just please stop now, please."  
  
But again her cries fell on deaf ears, and as Noel proceeded to remove her underpants, Felicity began to weep openly. 


	2. Aftermath

She lay there for just a moment until the shaking subsided enough to let her slip back on her panties and sneak down to the loft. Thankfully, the bleeding had stopped. She just hoped there was still no one home. At first, it looked as though she may have gotten her wish, but seconds after Felicity climbed out of the elevator Ben walked in the door carrying his basketball. Felicity was overcome with confusion. She wanted more than anything to fall into Ben's arms, tell him what happened and let him comfort her all night, but Ben was known for his irrational temper which meant either he was still mad at her for the earlier fight and would refuse to listen to what she had to say, or he would become so enraged with Noel that he would beat Noel to a bloody pulp which wouldn't do Felicity any good since that would probably land Ben in jail. That was the last thing she wanted because she needed Ben now more than ever. What she saw in Ben's eyes when her's met his, however, was the furthest thing from anger.  
  
"Hey," he said as he put the basketball down and slowly moved closer to her. "I'm glad you're here. I, uh, just wanted to tell you how stupid I realized I was being earlier. I'm not really mad at you it's just that this Hodges guy seems like a real dick and wouldn't even hear me out and.......sorry, off track again. This isn't your problem. You are like the anti-problem. If there is such a thing." Ben's shy smile made Felicity's heart so full, but she couldn't focus on what Ben was saying. Who cares about the goddamn fight, she wanted to yell, I was just raped. But she couldn't get the words out and didn't know if she wanted to even if she could. " Bottom line, Felicity, I love you and I'm really so, so sorry. You forgive me, right?" Ben moved in closer and as he touched Felicity's face and leaned in to kiss her, the damn broke loose and Felicity broke into uncontrollable sobs. Ben stopped short of her face. "What's wrong? Are you still mad at me? Felicity what's the matter?" Deciding she couldn't deal with it right now, Felicity replied, "I'm sorry, I forgive you. I just, I had a bad day and I didn't get into the honors art program and I, I..." She started fumbling over her words as she continued to cry and hiccup. "I'm just really tired and need to start over tomorrow I guess. I don't know." "Felicity, are you sure that's all? You seem really upset and I don't think the honors program is the whole reason. You're not telling me something."  
  
Felicity looked into Ben's eyes for the first time since she started blabbering and she could barely contain herself from telling him everything. She started to work up the courage. "Please don't be mad, Ben, and please don't do anything that could end badly but.." "What? What are you trying to say because you're really starting to make me freak out her Felicity. Tell me."  
  
"Hey guys, what's going on?" Noel stepped off the elevator looking anxiously from Felicity to Ben and back.  
  
"Uh, nothing man. We were just kinda having a talk, so if you wouldn't mind ..." "No, Ben it's, um, ok. I really need to go home to sleep. So I'll talk to you in the morning." "Felicity, wait. We need to talk." "No, it's really gonna be ok. I just need sleep. Really, I mean it. I'll call you tomorrow." "You promise?" "I promise"  
  
With that, Ben kissed Felicity on the forehead, and after catching a knowing stare from Noel, Felicity bolted out the door and ran down the hall to the elevator.  
  
Back in the loft, Ben turned to talk to Noel. "Man that was weird. Has she talked to you about anything that's bugging her today? I mean did she say anything about being mad about us fighting over the printer? Has she?"  
  
"No, man. I've been up the roof since my interview. This is the first time I've seen her all day." "You sure?" "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I know who I do and don't talk to in the course of day. Anyway, I'm gonna turn in as well. Long day. Bad day. Later"  
  
"Yeah, later" Noel headed off to his room, leaving Ben standing in the kitchen confused. Ben headed to the fridge and grabbed a beer, then to the pantry and grabbed the chips. He slunked onto the sofa and popped in a video game thoroughly perplexed. 


End file.
